Always In The Back Of My Mind
by SophieMary4
Summary: A look back on how Jade West fell in love with her soul mate, lover, partner, wife - Cat Valentine-West. It started back in their High School - Hollywood Arts. Jade looks back on her life, up until present day where she faces loosing the one she loves more than anything, thanks to her jelouse ex-boyfriend, Beck Oliver, after he was left by Tori Vega.
1. How Could You?

**_VicTORIous!_**

**_Jade West & Cat Valentine fanfic – Always In The Back Of My Mind_**

**_Jade's P.O.V – Chapter 1 – How Could You?_**

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As usual I was waiting for my boyfriend, Beck Oliver, to show up with my coffee; as usual he was fifteen minutes late.

It was really starting to piss me off just how late he always was, he knew I didn't like to be kept waiting, yet he made me wait nearly every morning for him and my coffee.

I was just about to give up and go to my first class, acting class with our deranged teacher, Sikowitz, when out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of Beck, usuring a brown haired girl into the janitor's closet.

As soon as I saw them going in there I knew who the girl was, and it made my blood boil, Tori-fucking-Vega.

I had hated her since the first day she started at Hollywood Art's, when she started going

after Beck, only to make it worse for herself by kissing him on her second day.

Before I got even more into the past, I pushed open the door to find Beck and Tori, lying on the floor in just their underwear.

I stared at them for what felt like a life time, and then at the top of my voice, to make sure everyone close by could hear me, I shouted at Beck.

"We're through you lying, cheating bastard!"

With that I ran from there, before my emotions got the better of me and I broke down in tears, into a sobbing mess of a girl, right in front of them there and then.

I ran to the only place I could think of that felt safe to me – The Black Box Theatre.

I hadn't noticed anyone following me until I was sat on the stage, head held in hands, that's when I felt eyes on me, and not just any eyes, they eyes of one Caterina Valentine.

I lifted my now red, puffy eyes to look at Cat.

I know I didn't normally cry in front of anyone, but I had known cat since… well forever.

She took one look at me then suddenly her arms were around me in one of her amazing hugs, I don't normally let anyone touch me, but Cat was different, she was special to me.

I cried for a good ten minutes before one of us spoke, it was cat.

"I'm so sorry Jade." Her voice held so much sincerity and sorrow for me that it broke my heart.

I looked up at her slowly. Taking in the one person that knew me better than anyone, and slowly whispered.

"It's not your fault Cat, Beck and Tori should be the one's saying sorry, but we both know where they are and what they're doing." After I finished speaking Cat got up, held her hand out to me and smiled.

"I know what you need Jade, a sleep over, to take your mind off things, we can even watch The Scissoring if you like, even though it really scares me, I want you to feel better and not so crappy, and Jade, you don't have a say, you're coming to my house after school, no matter what." With that all I could do was smile at this small, red-headed, totally loony girl that was willing to have nightmares for the next few weeks to make me feel better.

I let a small smile creep on to my face to let Cat know that I would be at her sleep over, because even if I didn't admit it to her, she was right, I needed to get my mind off things and what better way that spending the night with my best friend, and yes Cat is my best friend, and my favourite horror film about a girl coming back from the dead to kill her best friends, the pretty one first.


	2. How Can We Still Not See?

Cat's P.O.V – Chapter 2 – How Can We Still Not See?

I had finally managed to get Jade to stop crying, it was hard! Beck and Tori really hurt her! When I finally got her to stop crying we made our way to the bathroom so Jade could clean herself up a little, after that we decided - even thought I was _REALLY_ against it - to ditch school and hang out at mine instead, it was okay because my parent were seeing my brother in hospital!

When I got Jade back to my place she acted totally at home, because she was, more so at mine than at hers anyway, she had always said that.

I went into the kitchen and got us some popcorn and some other snacks then put them on the coffee table that was just in front of the couch where Jade was already sitting.

I grabbed the DVD that I had kept at my house for time's when Jade was over, The Scissoring was her favourite film and I knew she loved it so I kept a copy of it at my house just for her.

I put the DVD in the player and turned the T.V on, then sat on the couch next to Jade, it was only a two person couch, because most of the time I was home I was in my room, and my brother seamed to always be in hospital, so it was only my parents that watched the T.V down stairs.

I gave Jade the remote so she could turn the DVD on and lost myself in a bowl of my favourite snack ever – Bibble.

After about only ten minutes of the film being on, I was already scared, Jade could tell this and even thought it was me that was meant to be cheering her up, she looked over at me, sighed and opened her arm's to let me snuggle into her, I did so more than willingly.

We had always been close so it wasn't unnatural for us to do this, but Jade rarely let anyone close to her, only me and Beck, and look what he had gone and done!

At one point during the film I got so scared that I hid my face in Jade's shoulder and she laughed slightly and stroked my hair, and whispered softly in my ear.

"It's okay Cat, no one is really getting hurt, I promise." I looked up slowly at her and caught her looking at me, smiling slightly; it was so nice to see Jade smile so freely, she only really ever did that around me.

I smiled at her and nodded slightly then turned back to eating my Bibble and watching The Scissoring, I knew I was ment to be comforting Jade after everything that had happened today at school, but it felt nice to be here with her, like we used to, before Hollywood Art's, before Beck, before Tori, before Andre, before Robbie, before Trina, before everything, before we grew up.

Back when we were kid's Jade had always been there for me, nothing ever stopped her, and now I felt like it was my job... no, job is the wrong word, it's not a job to pay Jade back for what she did for me when we were kid's… I owed it to her.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know, Jade was waking me up and the movie was over – At least I missed the end of it – I yawned slightly and rubbed my eyes then looked at Jade.

I had fallen asleep with my arm around her waist and my head on her shoulder, curled up into her, I smiled and sat up, then I realized that she had to move her arm away from around my shoulders.

I got up and grabbed all the empty bowls off the table, taking them through to the kitchen then walked back into the living room and smiled at Jade as she got up.

"Come on Jade" I said happily to her and took her hand, leading her up to my room.

We got to my room and Jade stopped at the door and looked around, no matter how many times she comes over, it still shocks her at how pink and girly my room is, I giggled, mostly to myself and watched Jade as she slowly walked into my room.

"How can you sleep in here Cat? It's so... pink!" I smiled at her and shrugged

"I like it, how can you sleep in your room, it's so dark and scary" She smirked at my comment and walked over to me and whispered in my ear

"I like dark and scary Cat, it makes me feel safe" I shook my head at her and rummaged around for my pyjamas and found a pair of hers as well, she has stayed at mine so often that I let her keep some clothes here.

I found our pyjamas and threw hers at her, and then I looked at her.

"Pink is safe, dark and scary is… well dark and scary!" I stated to her

She sighed and got changed, then got into my bed, I did the same and got in next to her, and then I looked at her as she got comfortable and put her arm around my shoulders.

I laid my head on her shoulder and put my arm around her waist, like how we were on the couch and I yawned softly, she looked at me and smiled very slightly.

"Goodnight Cat, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite" She laughed at the last part because I gasped.

"JADE! Don't say things like that! Now I won't be able to sleep" I pouted and looked at her, she sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry Cat, if there are bed bug's they won't bite you if they know any better with me around" I smiled at her last comment and closed my eyes, I must have fallen asleep right away because I don't remember anything else from that night.


	3. Something Is Changing Deep Within Me

Jade's P.O.V – Chapter 3 - Something is changing deep within me

I watched Cat sleep for a while, she looked so peaceful, almost like there was nothing the world that could harm her, and that was true, as long as I was around nothing was going to hurt my Cat.

That's the way it's always been, I've always been there to protect her, never let any harm come to her, and now, here I was, watching her sleep after she had just put everything she had into making me feel better after what happened with Beckett and Whorey Tori.

I know that if he knew I called him Beckett he would hate me for life, and maybe that's what I wanted, he had cheated on me, broke my heart, then didn't even have the decency to give me a real reason as to why he had done it.

Yes I know I wasn't the best girlfriend in the world, and yes I got jealous rather easily, and yes I was mean to everyone, including him at times, but there must have been a time where he really loved me… isn't there?

I know I shouldn't be thinking about this now, not after Cat sat through The Scissoring just to make me feel better about what Beckett and Victoria had done to me, but it was like my mind was somewhere else, I couldn't help but think about it.

Did he ever love me? Did I ever love him? How long had he been cheating on me with Victoria? Had he cheated on me before? Was it all because I wasn't ready to put out for him? Did I ever mean anything to him?

I saw there for a while, totally forgetting that I was at Cat's and she was there asleep in my arm's until she started to stir, I looked down at her and smiled softly, a real smile, that never happened much with me, but around her, it was like I couldn't stop it.

She slowly opened her eyes and smiled at me, then she frowned and sat up slowly, still looking at me, I tilted my head slightly at her, I was slightly confused until her voice broke the silence.

"Jadey? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" What? I was crying? I put my hand to my face and she was right, I had been crying and I didn't even notice that I had, I was so lost in thought about how Beckett and Victoria could have hurt me so much.

"I—I—I" I couldn't seem to get the words out, but Cat being Cat knew what was wrong and in an instance her arms were around me, pulling me closer and soothing my hair, and oddly it felt nice, better than it had before.

I hiccupped and wipped my eyes then looked at Cat, she looked so lost yet so found, so scared and yet so at peace, so many emotions flickered in her eyes, but one stood out above them all, she was concerned about me.

"I didn't mean to think about it, I really didn't, but my mind couldn't stop" I took a deep breath and looked at her "And after you made me feel so much better after…" I couldn't even get the words out.

"Shh, I knew you wouldn't be able to stop yourself from thinking about it forever Jadey, I just wanted to make you feel better" She furled her eyebrows like she didn't know what to say next "I wanted you to remember that… that not everyone is like Beck and Tori, that people can and do care about you" She seemed pleased with the response she gave as a big grin spread across her face.

I couldn't help it; Cat knew how to make people feel better, even when she wasn't really trying to, I smiled softly at her.

"Thanks Cat, you're a really good friend to me, even though I'm not entirely sure why you stick around me sometimes when I can be so mean" I gave her a peck on the cheek and she looked slightly shocked at first then she just smiled at me.

"Wanna know why Jadey? Because everyone else thinks your oh-so-mean and horrible, but they never see this side to you, the side that, no matter how much you don't want to admit it, you're just a teenage girl, that feels emotions just like everyone else!"

Oddly what Cat said was not only deep – for her – but also true, I put up all my walls, never let anyone in, the only people that got to see the emotional side to me was my Cat and Beckett, on the inside I was just a broken teenage girl, that tried so hard to be hard to protect herself from all the bad in the world.

Kinda like Cat, everyone thinks she's just a ditzy, stupid, childish girl, but really, she was just like me on the inside, she was a broken teenage girl that tried so hard to protect herself from all the bad in the world.

We may have different ways of showing it, Cat in her airhead love for life way, and me in my, I hate the world, everything is bad way, but no matter what, me and Cat weren't that different after all.

I looked at Cat and sighed slightly.

"Your right Cat, and you know what, me and you, were not that different, we both put up walls to protect ourselves from all the bad in the world, and rarely let anyone else see the true us"

Cat stared at me for a while then nodded.

"It's true, everyone thinks I'm stupid," She looked right at me then "Including you at one stage Jadey, even though you've known me since we were 4 years old," She nodded to herself "I do put up walls to protect myself from the world, I make everything I'm stupid so they don't hurt me, and you've done the same, just you act all mean to everyone to make them too scared to ever hurt you, but you let Beck in and he betrayed your trust…"

She trailed off at the end, like she had something else that she wanted to say, but was too scared to say.

"I never meant to think you're stupid Cat… I honestly don't… I'm sorry" I practically whispered the sentence in an almost inaudible voice, but I knew that Cat heard me.

"It's okay Jadey, I know you didn't, I guess we just got to lost in the people we were pretending to be, that we even convinced each other that, who we were playing, was who we really were"

I nodded at what she said then without warning I yawned, forgetting that I had spent the rest of the night watching her sleep then mentally killing myself with thoughts of Beckett.

Cat caught on to the fact that I was clearly tired, even thought it was 7:30am and we had school she snuggled back down into her bed and looked at me when I looked at her slightly confused.

"Come on Jadey, you need to sleep, and it's only one day of school, our parents will never know, when do they ever pay attention to our lives anyway?"

She made a fair point and I just nodded as a response and laid down next to her, feeling her pull me slightly closer to me and I put my head on the pillow and slowly closed my eyes.

Cat must have thought I had fallen straight to sleep because of what she said, before I truly did fall asleep, the last thing I remember hearing was her soft voice, whisper so close to my ear.

"I would never hurt you like he did, I would never betray your trust like he did Jadey, I'll always be there for you, never forget that"

After that I did finally fall asleep, and I slept more peaceful then that I think I ever have before, even when I was in Beckett's arms I never felt as safe as I did right now in the arms of my best friend.


	4. How Could He!

_**A/N – Thanks everyone for all the reviews so far! Especially to M.D.G1986 who has really inspired me to add more to my story! Thank you so much for your support! And I hope your story comes a lot great :P **_

_**Okay, enough for me, here's the next chapter! ENJOY!**_

Cat's P.O.V – Chapter 4 – How Could He?!

I watched Jadey for a while and made sure she was deep in her sleep before I slowly and gently got up.

I found a pen and peace of paper and scribbled down a quick note to her

_Jadey! _

_I'm REALLY sorry for leaving like this, but I had something to deal with at school, if you wake up before I get home, I promise I won't be long! _

_Love Kitty! Xoxo_

I placed the note on the pillow next to Jadey's head and looked at her for a second then grabbed my pear phone and house key's and headed to school, it wasn't that far away.

When I finally got to school everyone was in class, I checked my timetable and saw that everyone would be in Sikowitz class, I headed to the class room and gently pushed the door open, Sikowitz wasn't there yet, that's good.

I took the seat that Jadey normally takes and everyone looked at me so to say "_she'll kill you for sitting there"_ But I just ignored the looks, knowing that Jadey would never hurt me, and knowing she wouldn't be in school today anyway.

I looked around the class, Robbie was sat on his own with Rex on his lap, Andre wasn't that far away from Robbie, but closer to me that him, and of course, Beck and Tori were sat as close to each other as possible without actually sitting ON each other.

This made me mad, but I knew not to show it, here I was supposed to be stupid, ditzy, an airhead, and I wasn't about to change that.

Just then Sikowitz walked into the class, and looked around.

"Right class, here's what's going to happen today, NO CLASS!" Amazing, the last class before lunch and Sikowitz was saying we could have two hours of lunch!

We all cheered and got up, heading out to door and to the Asphalt Café to grab our lunch then we all headed to our table.

I sat there for a while just looking at my lunch and looking around like I didn't have a care in the world, but I did, I cared about everything and everyone, and that included my Jadey.

When I saw Beck and Tori walk over and sit down I stared at Beck for a short while then looked at the others.

It was Tori's voice that broke the silence.

"So where's Jade?" She asked, but clearly didn't care, since no one but me knew where she was they all just made muttering noises I sighed and put on my façade, I giggled and looked at Tori.

"She's asleep at my house silly" Everyone looked shocked, and they should be, it was common knowledge that Jade treated me different, and that she ditched school when she felt like it, but no one knew how close me and Jadey really was.

"Why is she at yours Cat?" That was Beck's voice and I looked at him, now was my chance to make him feel bad, without making Jadey look vulnerable.

"I made her come over, she needed to take her mind off what she saw yesterday, it made her feel sick" I made a "_Bleach" _sound and stuck my tongue out, like it had actually caused her to be sick at what she saw.

I saw the look on Beck and Tori's face's change as they realized what I meant and that it was their fault Jadey was "sick" I smiled and looked around at everyone.

"Wait, Jade is at your house, asleep, and you left her there on her own, in your house" Beck laughed at me and it hurt and I let it show, he had never really been mean to me but now he was "Wow Cat, are you really that stupid?"

I was shocked that he would say that to me, only Jadey ever called me stupid to my face, but I knew she never really meant it, but Beck, Beck meant every word that escaped his mouth and no one had stopped him because they were just as shocked as me.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I said in the way I always do and Beck just looked at me and laughed.

"It mean's that your even more stupid that I first thought if you left Jade West in your house with all your things, you really think she'll stay there on her own? And NOT steal anything from you? Wow Cat, how stupid can you get!" He continued to laugh at me and I lost it.

"Jade wouldn't do that to me Beck, I know her better than you do! I've known her since I was 4 years old! And I'm NOT stupid!" After that I ran off, leaving school and heading back to my house, trying to get home before the tears fell.

I only just made it back, after I shut the door I sank to the floor and let the tears fall, forgetting for a second that Jadey was upstairs asleep, when I remembered I tried to be quitter, but it didn't work, I heard her head down the stairs.

"Cat? Is that you home?" With that she reached the bottom of the stairs and looked around till she saw me.

Once she saw me she was next to me in a second.

"Kitty! What's wrong?" I knew she was worried about me because she only ever called me Kitty when she was really worried about me, I took a deep breath and looked at her.

"Beck said I was stupid to leave you alone in my house… He said that you'd steal from me and that I couldn't be more stupid" I told her as a small tear ran down my face.

I looked at Jadey and she looked like a volcano was about to erupt inside her.

"He called you stupid?! I'll kill him!" And I knew she meant it.

"NO! Jadey you can't" She looked very confused and I sighed slightly

"You can't hurt him Jadey, I'll get in trouble, and then he'll know that he can get to you… I saw a text from Tori on his phone while he was sat next me…" I looked at her and then got up and walked over to the couch and looked away from her.

"They want to hurt you even more, the text from Tori said they should find something that will really hurt you if it was destroyed" I looked at her then and saw that she had got up.

"He replied back to her saying that you were different towards me, he said they should try and break me down to get to you, if you hurt him for him hurting me your proving him right Jadey!"

I saw the look in her eyes change and she walked over to me and sat down next to me, she put her arm around me and pulled me close to her.

"But Kitty, I promised you I'd never let anyone hurt you, and now it's all my fault your getting hurt by Beckett" I had to giggle then and look at her

"You called him Beckett, he'd really hate you for that Jadey" She smiled slightly and nodded.

"I know he would Kitty, and I think I want him to hate me, because right now, I really hate him for everything he's done, I was fine with him hurting me, but hurting you" She shook her head before continuing.

"No, he's crossed the line, no one hurt's my Cat and get's away with it, that's the way it's always been, that's the way it's ALWAYS going to be" She stated and I looked at her, she was always so protective of me, even when she was pretending that she hated me, then I remembered something else.

"Jadey, they know that we've know each other since we were 4 years old, I swear I didn't mean to let it out, but Beck was saying that I don't know you at all and that I was stupid for trusting you and I just slipped out, I'm sooooooo sorry, please don't hate me!" With that I buried my head in her shoulder and small sobs took over my body.

"Shh Cat, I don't hate you, it doesn't matter if they know or not, maybe now they'll understand why I've always treated you better than the rest of them" I lifted my head and looked at her, and into her light green eyes.

I don't know why I did what I did next, but before I could stop myself, my lips were on hers, I think she was too shocked to pull back or move at all, because she didn't.

As soon as I realized what I had done, I pulled away from her and saw so many emotions in her eyes, I gasped and got up.

"I'm so sorry Jadey!" I said as I ran towards my room, shutting the door after me and flinging myself onto my bed, I buried my head in the pillow and screamed at myself.


	5. What Just Happened?

Jade's P.O.V – Chapter 5 - What Just Happened?

I woke up around 12 and groaned slightly, I blinked a few times, having forgotten I was at Cat's house, and feeling confused about the colors that we're clearly lighter than the dark miserable colors of my room at home.

After I remembered where I was I looked around, Cat wasn't anywhere to be seen, I sighed to myself then saw her note, I smiled to myself as I read the note a few times as I was still half-asleep when I read it the first two times.

I sighed to myself then decided that since no one else was here I'd take a quick shower, God knows I needed one and since I had spare clothes here at Cat's it wasn't a big deal.

I grabbed the spare clothes from a draw she had dedicated to me for my stuff and headed to the bathroom, I turned the shower on and let the water run for a while, letting it get nice and hot while I stripped down, making sure the bathroom door was locked so if Cat came home, she would know not to come in here.

After the water was nice a hot I got in the shower, and closed my eyes as the water ran down my back, I slowly started to wash myself, trying to get rid of everything I had been through in the last couple of days.

When I thought it was time to get out I shut the shower off and grabbed a towel, making sure to dry myself properly before getting dressed, I then put the towel around my hair to keep it from dripping down my back and getting my clothes wet, I hated that.

I got dressed and sighed when I opened the door and everything was still as silent as it was when I went in the bathroom, clearly Cat wasn't home yet, I made my way back to her room and fell back onto her bed, checking The Slap on my phone, stupidly I went to Beckett's profile and saw that his last two updates were; "Out of a relationship with Jade West" And "In a relationship with Victoria 'Tori' Vega"

I groaned and threw my phone across the room, how could he do this to me? I mentally shook my head and remembered that Cat had been trying so hard to make me feel better and forget everything that had happened and here I was, thinking about everything that had happened and killing myself on the inside by looking at Beckett's profile on The Slap, knowing it wouldn't help in the slightest.

After a while I heard the front door open and shut again, then I heard soft crying coming from downstairs, I slowly got up and headed down stairs to see who it was, hoping to God it wasn't Cat that was crying, it's so hard to calm her down sometimes when she gets really upset.

I continued down the hall, it was really long, Cat's house was like really big, I finally got to the stairs and headed down them, calling out so not to scare whoever it was that had come home during the day.

"Cat? Is that you home?" I finally got to the bottom of the stairs and looked around, slightly confused to where I had heard the crying was coming from, when my eyes swept past the front door I finally saw her, slumped down at the bottom of the door, eyes red and puffy, she was trying her hardest not to cry, but I could tell it was hard for her.

Before I knew I had moved, Cat was in my arms and I was sat there with her, I was so worried about her, It sort of scared me at just how much, I hadn't been this worried about her since Danny was caught kissing Victoria and they had made Cat upset.

"Kitty! What's wrong?" After I Asked her what was wrong she told me about what Beckett had said and what he and Victoria had planned against me, it made my blood boil.

I held her to me as she cried even more, I promised a long time ago, that I would never let any harm come to her, and I was going to keep that promise, Beckett and Victoria were going to pay for making my little Kitty cry like this.

She slowly looked up at me and I looked at her, right in the eyes and then suddenly her lips were against mine, it shocked me so much that I didn't even move.

When she finally realized what she was doing, I was still so shocked that I just couldn't move or say a word and her lips left mine, with that she ran off upstairs, I think she shouted something but I didn't hear her if she did, I was too shocked, Cat had kissed me.

I sat there for a while, not sure what to do, should I just leave? Should I go and see her? What if she doesn't want to see me? Wait that last one is ridiculous, she just kissed me, but that might be a reason for her to not want to see me, awh hell, I'm going up there to see her, she has some explaining to do anyway, and this can NOT wait.

I slowly got up and sighed, I headed up to her room and stood outside her door for a second, I could hear her crying, I shook my head and knocked on the door gently as I opened it.

"Cat?" I said softly as I walked into the room, she looked up for a second at me then she rolled over so her back was to me and buried her head back in her pillow, like she wanted nothing more than for it all to be a dream.

I slowly walked over to her bed and sat down, she must have felt the bed move because she flinched slightly and scooted further away from me, almost falling off the bed as she did so.

I gently rested my hand on her back and looked at her, she looked like she was asleep, and I would have thought that if I hadn't seen her shoulder's shaking as she silently cried.

Slowly I moved closer to her, lying down behind her and sighed softly.

"Cat, look at me" When she didn't move to look at me I tried another angle "Do you want me to leave? I will if you want me to…" That got her attention, she turned around so quickly that she was just a few inches away from my face.

She yelped and scooted away from me again, before I could stop her, and she fell backwards off her bed with a small scream as she fell, I moved over to the other side of the bed where she had just fallen off and looked over the edge.

"Are you okay Cat?" She nodded her head, but I could see her wince slightly as she got up.

I watched her as she got up and went and sat in the chair across the room, she still hadn't said a single word to me, and it worried me because Cat ALWAYS had something to say, but now, she hasn't said anything!

"Cat, please say something" I looked at her as she looked at the floor and shook her head, I sighed and got up, walking over to the chair and kneeling in front of it, I looked at her and lifted her chin slightly so she was looking at me.

"Why won't you talk to me Cat?" If I hadn't been so close to her, I swear I wouldn't have heard what she had to say, but I was close to her and I did hear it.

"Why don't you hate me Jadey?" With that she looked up at me, her deep chocolate eyes were puffy and red, signs that she had been crying, a lot, her mascara had run, leaving black lines down her face.

I smiled slightly at her, and even though it was only a slight smile, it was genuine, it was real, "Cat I could never and will never hate you, I promised I'd always be there for you, I'm never going back on that word" Every word that left my lips were true.

When we were only 4 year's old I promised her that me and her would be friends forever, that I would always be there for her, that nothing could tear our friendship apart, and even at that age, I had meant every word I said to her, and now that we were older, I was going to make damn sure I kept that word to her, had it not been for those three boy's back then, me and Cat would never had met.

_Flashback_

_I sat on my own under the tree in the far corner of the playground, even though I was only 4 years old, I knew I was different to other kids my age, I didn't like dollies like every other girl, I didn't like playing games, I didn't like dresses or bright colors, and everyone else was running around shouting about boy cooties, but my only friend was a boy, my older brother._

_It was just like any other day, I sat on my own, all the other kids thought I was a freak, or weird, so I never bothered to talk to them, why waste my time trying to be friends with someone if you know they will never accept you for who you were, even though I was only 4 years old, I was deep._

_That's when I heard them again, three boy's, Kyle, Morgan and Dylan, teasing one of the smaller girls in my year, I couldn't even remember her name, but this was the 5__th__ time this week! They wouldn't let her be!_

_I got up, after grabbing my stuff and putting it in my bag, and walked over to the boys and that little girl, what was her name?! Why couldn't I remember her? _

_As I turned the corner to where they were I was Kyle walk over to the girl and shove her so hard she hit her head on the wall behind her and slipped down to the ground, I walked over to them and tapped Morgan on the shoulder._

_From the look on the girl's face, I was sure she thought I was going to join in with the boys and hurt her like they were, but I wasn't, I wasn't the nicest kid in school, but I couldn't stand it if people picked on people they knew couldn't defend themselves, and this small brown hair, brown eyed girl was one of them, she couldn't defend herself._

_Morgan turned and looked at me and smiled a big toothy grin at me and then looked at Dylan and Kyle, he clearly thought what the small girl thought, that I was going to join them and hurt her, boy were they all in for a shock._

_He was unaware when my fist came into contact with his face, I watched as he writhed in pain, and Dylan and Kyle looked shocked then they both came for me, I shook them off easily, I wasn't that big, but I knew how to defend myself, I was strong for my age._

_After a while of Dylan, Kyle and Morgan coming at me, they finally stopped and ran off, the small girl had stayed on the floor the whole time, and when I turned to look at her, her arm came flying up to cover her face._

_I sighed slightly and knelt down in front of her and moved her arm from her face, then I remembered her name, Caterina, that was her name, and it was a mouthful to remember, no wonder I had forgotten her name!_

"_You alright?" I asked her and she looked at me, scared but then nodded her head, she whispered her reply to me._

"_T-T-Thank you for helping me Jadelyn" She knew who I was, how did she know who I was, wait what did she just call me? Jadelyn? NO ONE called me by my full name, not unless I was in trouble._

"_No one calls me that, it's just Jade…" I smirked before carrying on "Caterina" She seemed more shocked that I had known who she was, than I had that she had known me._

_She nodded her head and looked at me._

"_Call me Cat, my full name is hard to say for most people, so well done for knowing it and being able to say it properly! Even I can't say it properly sometimes and it's MY name!" She giggled and looked at me before carrying on "We're gonna be great friends Jadey, I can tell" _

_I kept listening to her and shook my head when she called me Jadey then I scowled at her._

"_Don't call me Jadey, my name is Jade." I stated matter of factly to her, but I didn't work, she never called me Jade, only Jadey or Jadelyn, depending on what mood she was in with me, I watched her for a while longer till she finished, then spoke up._

"_Tell you what Cat, I promise that no matter what I will be there for you when you need me okay? So if those boy's come back to hurt you, you just come to me, any time okay?" I smiled at her, a real smile, the first real smile I ever smiled, and the first time I showed any emotion other that anger at school._

_End Flashback._

Cat looked at me then shook her head

"How can you not hate me Jadelyn! I kissed you! Friends don't kiss other friends! Especially BEST FRIENDS! You just HAVE to hate me for that" I looked at her and shook my head.

"Is that what you want Caterina? For me to say I hate you? For me to just walk away from you? To go back on my word? To lose the first friend I ever had, just because you kissed me? It was just a kiss Cat; nothing was meant by it… was it?" I hadn't thought anything was meant by it, but then I never really was sure about Cat, she wasn't stupid like people thought she was, but she could pretend to be childish, and she was good at hiding emotions from people, even me sometimes.

Could that kiss have meant more to Cat that I thought? If it did, why didn't she just tell me, she should know I wouldn't get mad at her for that, I had never had anything against anything like that, and if my best friend went for girls instead of or as well as boy, then I was fine with that.

I watched her face to see any sign that she was hiding how she really felt but I didn't see anything, either she was really good at hiding emotions, or I was right and the kiss was just a in-the-moment thing and didn't mean anything, I mean we both have been hurt by Beckett in the past couple of days.

Just as I was beginning to thing I didn't mean anything to her she looked into my eyes and sighed slightly then slowly whispered something to me, she must have known I hadn't heard her because she repeated what she said.

"What if it DID mean something Jadey? THEN you would really hate me, and it would be the end of our friendship right? And if it DIDN'T mean anything, then it was weird right, and it would be awkward between us" She had a point on the last one but I wasn't going to say that.

"Kitty I would never hate you if it did mean something, I'm not like that, sure I might need to think about if it meant something to me, that came out wrong, I'm sorry, what I mean is, it might take me a while to figure out if I felt THAT way about you, I mean you know I love you any way Kitty, we've been together through everything"

She smiled at me then and got up, man her moods could change so quickly it almost gave me whiplash, almost.

She jumped up on the bed and patted the space next to her for me to join her, and I did, she snuggled up right close to me and put her head on my shoulder, I put my arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me, it's how it's always been with me and her.

After a while I started to feel my eyes close and so I closed them before I fell asleep without remembering falling asleep, but Cat must have thought I had fallen asleep, because I know she didn't want to say what she did to me when I was awake.

"Maybe it did mean more to me Jadey, I'm just not sure right now, and if it did, then I know it would be the end of our friendship, I know that, so maybe I don't want it to have meant more to me, but I don't want to hurt your feelings" I felt her shake her head.

"I don't want to lose you Jadey, your my best friend, my only true friend, I don't want that to change, I won't do anything that will change that, so if I decided that kissing you did mean something to me, I promise to keep it to myself" I smirked slightly and opened my eyes to look at her, and she was shocked, she thought I was asleep.

I looked at her then smirked again and did something I never thought I'd do to a girl, least of all to Cat, I leant in closer and kissed her gently, I could tell she didn't know what was going on for a second because her eyes went wide and before she could register what had happened I pulled away from her and looked at her.

"Don't you dare keep it from me if it does mean something more Cat, I promise I won't freak out, I won't shun you away, our friendship if forever and always, and hey, you never know, maybe I meant more to me as well" I winked then closed my eyes, sleep really coming on fast.

I heard her take an intake of breath at my last comment and had to mentally laugh at myself for that one, way to get her thinking Jadelyn.


	6. What Did She Just Say?

Cat's P.O.V – Chapter 6 – What did she just say?

Jadey's comment left me thinking for most of the night, had the kiss meant more to me? Had it meant more to her? Was this where our friendship was heading, a relationship? What if it didn't work out? What if we broke up and never spoke to each other again? What if she ended up hating me for loving her?

Whoa, loving her? Did I love her? I mean I know I love her like a sister, but was it becoming more than just a sisterly love between us?

I shook my head gently, all these questions were giving me a headache, slipping out of bed, and making sure I didn't wake up Jadey and went to look for some pain killers.

I made my way down to the kitchen, there was bound to be some sort of pill down here that could help with my head, I looked everywhere but found nothing.

Sighing I walked back upstairs, then remembered the cupboard in the bathroom, I made my way to the bathroom and opened the cupboard, I took out a few bottle's of pills to see which one's to take and grabbed a glass of water.

I hadn't noticed anyone else around but all of a sudden the water was out of my hand and on the floor, I looked for at it for a second, shocked at how it had flew out of my hand, that's when I heard Jadey.

"Caterina Valentine! What do you think your doing!?" Jadey really yelled at me and made me flinch.

I looked at Jadey and whispered because my head was now pounding "I have a headache, I was finding a pain killer…" I could see she didn't believe me.

"Cat, that is more than just one pain killer, there are.." she paused for a moment to count the little tub's I had found and put out on the side "…4 pots here" She looked at me with a serious look on her face "Please tell me you weren't thinking of taking all of these…"

I was slightly shocked Jadey would think I'd do something like that, I looked at her and shook my head slightly "I wasn't going to do that Jadelyn, like I told you, I have a headache, there were too many questions in my head and it started to hurt!" I pushed past her and walked out of the bathroom and back to my bedroom.

I got back into bed, my head still hurting because I hadn't been able to have a pain killer cuz Jadey decided to knock my water out my hand.

I buried my head into my pillow, trying anything to make the pain go away, when I heard the door creek open, I knew Jadey had come back to my room, but I wasn't about to look at her right now, my head was hurting to much.

I felt the bed shift slightly as Jadey sat down, I felt her hand on my back gently"

"Here, take this" I turned around to see that Jadey had two pill's in her hand and a glass of water on the side, I looked at her then sighed taking the pills from her as she grabbed the water to hand it to me.

"Ain't you afraid I'm gonna try and top myself with these two pills?" I asked in a harsh tone, Jadey wasn't used to me being kinda harsh to her, and nor was I, it felt off.

"Cat…" she started but trailed off for a second, she shook her head before continuing "You scared me Cat, when I saw all those tubs of pills sat there and you with a glass in your hand…" She trailed off again and I looked at her.

"You really thought I'd end my life Jadey?" I sort of whispered my question to her but I knew she had heard it by the expression on her face.

"I don't know Cat! I don't know" I put the glass back on the table and looked at her.

"Why would I want to end my life? It's not all bad, I have a few good friends, I have you, that's worth living for Jadey" I smiled softly at her to show her that I really did mean what I said, life was worth living.

Jadey sighed and looked away from me for a moment then looked back, suddenly she was very close to me then before I had time to move or anything her lips were on mine, Jadey was kissing me, again!

Slowly I kissed her back, afraid she would move away from me, she did, she looked at me and sighed before whispering.

"Please don't scare me like that again Kitty, please, I need you to be alive, I need you" what she said shocked me slightly, Jadey never needed anyone, ever, but now she was saying she needed me.

Typical me I said the first thing that popped into my head.

"You kissed me, twice" She just laughed slightly and nodded.

"I did, and the second time, you kissed me back…" I knew she was trying to get somewhere with this, but I honestly had no idea where it was going.

Jadey looked at me then looked away and sighed softly, if she hadn't have been so close to me, there would be no way I would have known she did. I looked at her.

"Jadey… what's wrong?" I asked softly and lifted her head to look at me.

"I don't know Cat, it's just…" She paused and shook her head looking away from me again. "Look, I don't know if that first kiss meant more to you or not, and I don't know if it meant more to me or not, I just need time to figure it all out okay?" She stated and I looked at her.

"Jadey, I'm not asking you to tell me right this moment if the kiss meant something more to you or not, I'm not gonna make you say it meant more or it didn't, you can have all the time in the world to figure it all out." I looked at her and smiled "I promise I won't push you to make up your mind, if it meant more to you or if it didn't."


	7. Why Is This So Hard?

Jade's P.O.V – Chapter 7 – Why is this so hard?

I honestly had no idea what the kiss had meant to Cat, but I knew it meant something to her, and I knew it had meant something to me, I just couldn't figure it out.

I wasn't repulsed by the kiss, it didn't make me want to hate Cat like it should have, it made me feel… good, I never expected that, I never thought that kissing a girl would make me feel good, but kissing Cat, it didn't just feel good, it felt right, like this was what was always going to happen.

I had to clear my head, I sighed and looked over at Cat, it was Sunday now, I don't know how so much time had passed but it had.

"I should get going, I need to think about everything and it's late." I was only 12:30pm, but Cat understood what I meant by what I said, she nodded her head slightly and looked at me.

"KayKay Jadey, see you at school tomorrow" It was more of a question than a statement; I just nodded my head and smiled slightly at her.

"I'll be at school Kitty, don't worry" I used her nickname I had given her to show her that I really did mean what I said; I really would see her tomorrow at school.

Once I got home I went straight up to me room, I had a lot of thinking to do, I knew things were gonna change between me and Cat now, how could the stay the same after that kiss? But it wasn't just one kiss, I kissed her twice, she only kissed me once.

I lay back on my bed and looked up at the ceiling, I had kissed Cat twice now, and each time it felt better and better, this was confusing, but made sense all at the same time, sure I love Cat, I always had since we were little, but I never thought I could fall IN love with Cat.

It wasn't that I had anything against girl's being with girl's or boy's being with boy's, it was more of the fact that I've always seen Cat as a little sister I had to protect from everything she couldn't protect herself against, and now that included our friends.

I was angry now, how could Beckett and Victoria be so cruel to Cat? And why didn't Robert and Andre stop them? I screamed and threw something across my room, no one hurt's my Cat and gets away with it, that's the way it has always been and that's the way it will stay.

It was in that moment that I realized that those kisses had meant something more to me, I may not have realized it when they happened, but they did mean more to me, Cat was always going to be the girl I protected, the girl I would give my life up for, Cat was my life, she was my everything.

I smiled at the thought of this and took out my phone, I texted Cat and told her to come over, even though it was late, I knew Cat would, she always came when I asked her to, this time would be no different.

It was 10 minutes later when I heard someone at the door, I knew it would be Cat so I got up, and walked down stairs; I opened the door and smiled at Cat.

"Hey Kitty" I opened the door more and let Cat in, she smiled and bounced, literally, she was wearing her Jupiter boot's, over to the couch and sat down.

I watched her for a moment, she was so at home here, even though I knew some of the décor in our house scared her, it never stopped her being her happy bubbly self, never stopped her from feeling like she belonged here, and she did belong here, she had done since we were 5 years old.

I walked over and sat down next her, I didn't quite know how to tell her that the kiss had meant more to me, I wasn't even sure I should tell her, I know I told her that if it meant more to her, that she should tell me, but should I tell her?

She looked around the room, she was always fascinated by everything, no matter how many time's she walked through the front door, then she turned to me and grinned like the Cheshire cat, fitting for her I thought to myself and smiled at her.

"Cat, we need to talk." It sounded weird saying that, it normally came before breaking up with someone and I could see in her eye's she was scared I was going to tell her she couldn't be my friend any more, but I could never do that to her, I would never do that so I smiled. "Don't worry, it's nothing bad."

Cat smiled then and exhaled, I'm not even sure she knew she was holding her breath as she looked rather shocked at the sudden need to breath. "Oh, I'm glad you said that Jadey, I was scared for a moment there." She giggled and smiled at me. "So what do you want to talk about?"

I looked at her and sighed softly. "I've been thinking, and maybe that kiss meant more to me..." I shook my head. "No, it DID mean something more to me" I watched her and after every word I said, I swear her smiled got bigger and bigger, this girl and her mood swings.

Cat's smile kept getting bigger, then in a flash her arms were around my neck and she was hugging me, hard, damn for someone so petit she had some serious strength, I smiled and wrapped my arms around her waist, hugging her back then I looked at her.

I watched her and waited for her to say something, I think she gathered I was waiting for her to do something, but I didn't expect her to do what she did, because suddenly she had her lip's pressed against mine, again.

After a moment, I kissed Cat back, and it still felt so right, it felt like we should have been doing this for a long time, I slowly closed my eyes and was surprised when she didn't stop kissing me, but pulled closer to me.

Slowly we both needed air and I broke the kiss of and looked at her, I looked into her eyes and smiled softly. "So I'm guessing that was the answer you wanted to hear then Kitty?" She just smiled, giggled and blushed.

"Jadey, when I kissed you the other day, it wasn't the first time I've wanted too…" I was slightly surprised at this, Cat had never shown that kind of interest in me, or maybe she had and I had just not seen it because I wasn't paying attention to her, or I'd got so lost in who I was pretending to be, that I just brushed it off, like I do with everything.

She continued after a moment. "I never let you see it though, you were so happy with Beck, and I didn't want you to hate me" She looked at me then, and I could see that she was close to crying, there were tears in her eyes. "But when I saw how Beck had hurt you, then the mean thing's him and Tori are planning…" She trailed off and shook her head, like she couldn't believe it, and honestly, I don't think she could.

Even before we started our act's, her as the ditzy red-headed girl and me as the fearless dark-hearted girl, Cat had always seen the good in people, she very rarely believed anyone could be horrible to people, she even forgave those boy's for hurting her back when we were just 5 year's old.

She took a deep breath and looked at me. "I didn't mean to kiss you, I know you were hurting from what they did to you, and I shouldn't have kissed you then… I'm sorry Jadey." I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I had just told her the kiss meant something to me, and she was wishing it had never happened.

As good as I was at hiding the hurt, Cat could see right through it all, she could see that her words had just hurt me and she shook her head. "Oh, no, that came out wrong! Oh Jadey I'm sorry!" She covered her face with her hands like she was crying, I knew that she wasn't.

I looked at her and whispered. "You wish it had never happened? I told you the kiss meant more to me, and you wish it had never happened." She could hear the hurt in my voice, and I made no move to cover it up, I just looked at her as she looked up at me.

"I didn't mean it like that Jadey! I just meant… um… I meant, I wish our first kiss had happened… uh…" she took a moment to figure out what she was trying to say. "I wish it had happened when we both wanted it, not just me." She looked at me with a confused look. "Does that make sense Jadey, cuz it's hurting my head to figure it out and figure out what I mean"

I looked at her and nodded at her. "You mean you wish it had happened when I wasn't vulnerable, when it wasn't like you were taking advantage of that and make a move" She looked at me and nodded.

She whispered the next line so quietly; I was shocked I heard it at all. "I didn't mean to take advantage of you Jadey, I messed this up so badly haven't I" She looked at me with the question still in her eyes.

It was all I could do to show her that she hadn't messed anything up, so I leant forward slowly and kissed her gently, before looking in her eyes. "No, you haven't messed anything up Kitty."


End file.
